Du Hứa (Danlambao) - The feeling has been the same, maybe even worse, for this lonesome sailor. The spring just passed and I really missed my Tet in my Motherland. The meaning of country means so much to me more than ever. The two words “Viet Nam” are always deep in my soul. I was living in the new Motherland and serving her but I kept thinking about my people.
When May arrived, it was time for us to make the long deployment again. I was all ready for the six-month Mediterranean cruise. If somebody had asked me where I would want my ship to go for this coming long deployment, I would say that I wished my ship would conduct its exercises on the Pacific Ocean.
My reason was that the Vietnamese boat people were still escaping their country at this time and these desperate boat people would need their lives to be rescued in the southeast of the Pacific Ocean. If our battle group was conducting the exercises in that part of the ocean, I might get the chance to see the desperate and helpless Vietnamese boat people rescued; and seeing my own people, who had risked their lives seeking freedom—taking part in saving them from their tiny watercrafts—would be indescribably amazing experience.
We arrived at the aircraft carrier in the second week of May, and the ship was underway the next day. This was an emotional day for most of the sailors because they were going to leave behind their families and love ones for at least half of the calendar year. Before the ship left port, sailors, in formal white uniforms, stood at-ease all around the flight deck saying good-bye to families, friends and the land of our beloved country.
As the ship started moving, the song “God Bless America” played on the loudspeakers. It was a very touching moment for everyone, and I couldn’t hold the tears in my eyes, although I had no family members on the port for me to say good-bye.
The ship had been out to sea for a day, and the ship crew started to welcome all of our heroic pilots from all the squadrons landed on the carrier. Seeing those beautiful and mighty birds maneuver and put their tail hooks down to catch the steel wires for landing was awesome. I kept looking up, just to wonder where the birds of my squadron were. After looking for a while, I thought I saw them. They were flying in a formation just as they were demonstrating an air show. They looked so beautiful, and I loved them.
I believed that all the pilots and all the jets had arrived on the ship. Everything had been flawlessly executed. I was confident that we were going to have a great cruise.
But bad news were already here. I was at my shop when I heard from the loudspeakers that the ship’s captain announced a serious fire had broken out in the engine room and claimed two lives. I was shocked. Silence fell over the shop. I felt very sorry for those sailors who had ultimately sacrificed their lives in the service for their country. I bowed my head and paid them the utmost respect, praying for their souls to be in Heaven with God. I couldn’t believe it was only our third day at sea and an accident like this had happened. I prayed for the safety of our cruise every day until the end of this deployment.
Coincidently with the tragedies of our ship, I saw the Navy Times magazine lying on the desk in our shop. I picked up and read the issue. There, I found another tragic event; a battleship in Iowa had exploded, and forty-seven sailors had lost their lives. Among them was a Vietnamese born petty officer third class, Fire Controlman Tung Thanh Adams.
Oh my God! So many sailors died! I cried out loudly from my soul. I couldn’t believe I’d received two tragic pieces of news in the same day. I wanted to give my deepest sympathy from the bottom of my heart to Tung’s adoptive father, Alvin Adams, and to the families of all the other sailors who had sacrificed their lives.
I was already starting to feel the heat of the flight operations. We worked very hard to keep our jets in the air. This was nothing new, as this was how we’d worked during the NATO cruise. Whenever I had breaks, I chose a very good spot on the balcony so I could look far beyond the horizon. Many times I saw our battle group ships surrounding our aircraft carrier. They all looked so great and mighty. I called this the American super power; it was so great to see such strength of the United States Navy.
We had been at sea for a few weeks now, and our first port visit was scheduled. In fact, we would have port visits back to back for the next four weeks. Our first port would be Benidorm, one of Spain’s beautiful coastal cities. We would have six days of liberty here; a lot of time to explore this gorgeous city.
The water and beaches in Benidorm were great and the people seemed very nice and friendly. I also loved the food. It was different from what we had in our chow hall.
Several days after Benidorm, we visited a beautiful island in Spain called Palma. This huge island sat in the middle of the Balearic Sea. Once again, we got to see new, beautiful places. Glorious architecture made this city spectacular—too much to see it all. Besides sightseeing, my next favorite thing to do was to enjoy Spanish food. I ate too much.
After several days in Palma, our ship pulled out and headed east to the Mediterranean Sea. The flight operations resumed, and we got into to our serious business. One day, I noticed that the flight operation had stopped and our carrier had slowed down; I saw a cargo ship approaching our ship. I realized that it was time for the ship to replenish the ship’s supply. I was amazed of how well the operation was carried out.
Some days, there was not much activity and the work forces had been at ease somewhat, especially the stress and pressure from those pilots who had the most responsibilities. I always respected and admired them and thanked them for their intelligence, dedication and their remarkable service to their country. Every now and then, we had short working days, and I saw our pilots walking around and relaxing. Many of them walked on the flight deck catching fresh air and probably thinking about their families and loved ones, whom they had been far apart far apart from for a while now. We all had personal moments, and I wished peace would always be with us all.
We would be making another port visit in a few days. This time we would be visiting Izmir, Turkey. I had never thought that I would see Turkey. I never knew how many adventures I was going to have when I was in the Navy. Seeing the people and the country of Turkey, where the East met the West would be so interesting.
When the ship arrived at the port of Izmir, I was eager to get off the ship. There was so much history here and so many historic places that I longed to see. I also saw statues and broken buildings of precious stones that had been built many centuries ago. The Mother of Virgin Mary’s house was also believed to be in this area. It was a lot to learn from this country.
Liberty time was over, and our ship pulled out to sea. I noticed that no flight operation in the next a few days because we were heading to the Suez Canal. This was interesting news. I remembered that, when I was only in fifth grade in a school in my village in Vietnam, I had first learned about the Suez Canal during world history class. Today I was going see the canal for myself. This was really unbelievable. I would never have expected this in a million years.
The Suez Canal, located in Egypt, is over a hundred miles long. It connects the Mediterranean Sea with the Gulf of Suez. The Suez Canal was completed and opened in 1869. The construction of the canal took ten years. It had become the most popular man-made canal in the world. As the ship slipped through the narrow vein of water, I could see the sands that stretched to the horizon. I saw the Egyptians, who were standing close by the canal, waving at us. In the meantime, on the flight deck, our crewmembers took this rare opportunity to convert the flight deck into a big gym. Sailors started to run, walk, or lift weights. It was definitely an interesting and fun event for me.
Yesterday, we had been in the Mediterranean Sea, and today, we were in the Arabian Sea. After a day of Suez Canal transit, we were now conducting exercises with the Saudi Arabian forces. The flight operations resumed, and we were getting busy. However, my squadron had temporarily assigned me a special duty when some departments of the ship didn’t have enough personnel. I was sent to office of the master-at-arms to be a part of the team charged with keeping peace and order inside our ship. This would be totally a different task. My job was to patrol a certain section of the ship and get involved in, solve, and report any violence or disorderly conduct of any sailor to a higher authority. I took the new order as a new challenge for me.
Things were going smoothly so far. The month of July was almost here, and the birthday of the United States of America was coming. This would be my first time celebrating the biggest national holiday on the ship that carried the country’s name. We were going to glorify the birthday of America two days shy of the actual date because of the busy operation schedules.
On the morning of July 2, 1989, one of my favorite songs, “America the Beautiful” poured from the loudspeakers I stood on the balcony in the middle of the high sea under a beautiful sky and listened to every word of the song and every note of the music:
O Beautiful for spacious skies…
America, America, God shed his grace on thee.
And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea.”
America, America—it was my home—the home of the free.
The noise started to get louder and the flight deck had soon transformed into a huge outdoor picnic. We called this Steel Beach BBQ. My friends and I stood in line for hot, juicy real American hamburgers and hot dogs.
Sharing America’s Birthday cake.
At the end of the day, our celebration of the birthday of the nation came to an end; glorifying the holiday like this had boosted the morale and spirit of our sailors. I loved this country more than ever. I was very thankful to live in freedom and democracy. Nothing was more precious than that.
I patrolled the ship as it was underway for flight operations. I worked a shorter hour schedule at the master-at-arms office, so I had more time to go to the gym. I was in better shape than before. Through a combination of good food and exercise, I had gained some muscle mass, and I felt stronger and healthier. I was very happy and proud of myself.
One early morning, I heard a lot of noise, and my shipmates were running up to the flight deck. I got out of my rack and asked my teammate what were going on. He told me it was the Cross the Line initiation. I had no idea what that was or why someone had to go through that. Nobody had the chance to explain, but one of my teammates told me that if I didn’t want to go, I should just stay in my rack.
I certainly didn’t want to stay in my rack because my ego and curiosity were bigger than that. I followed the others up to the deck; I wanted to be part of it even though I had no clue what was happening and why. When I approached the flight deck, people started calling me pollywog, and they called themselves the trusty shellback or the sons of Neptune. They made me crawl on the flight deck to the places of the initiation. Messy food and nasty liquids in different kinds were everywhere. All forms of making fun of the Pollywogs who were the first time crossed the line. I realized that this was just another Navy tradition—whenever the ship was crossing the equator, a ceremony was held to initiate new sailors and make them tougher and fully, 100 percent sailor proof. Seeing my fellow sailors in weird costumes and makeup was very funny. All the shellbacks were having too much fun to make the pollywogs suffer. It was very tough, and that was the name of the game. This was my second initiation, so I was fully aware what I needed to do to become tougher and get through this. My group and I finally got the declaration from the king of Neptune. “I do hereby command all hands to honor and respect him as a trusty shellback.” I did it, and I was tough.
Things were getting back to normal quickly. I had now completed my temporary duty as a master-at-arms, and returned to my squadron. I was glad because I had been missing the works on my airplanes.
The ship was now in the Indian Ocean and conducting heavy flight operations. Whenever I could, I went to the newsroom to check out some Navy magazines, so that I could keep up with what was going on in the Navy. Indeed, I caught some interesting news that made me really excited. An article in All Hands Magazines reported that the USS Oldendorf had rescued thirty-five Vietnamese boat people from their tiny vessel in the Gulf of Thailand. Involved in the rescue was a Vietnamese sailor, Khoi Thanh Nguyen, who was stationed on Oldendorf. Khoi, who was once a refugee and had been rescued by the US Navy in 1975 after the Fall of Saigon. Khoi was able to immediately connect with the refugees and help them in the rescue process. I felt great and so happy that God had blessed the people who had just been saved. I wished I could have the same opportunity like Khoi. That would be the greatest feeling; but my ship was now in the Indian Ocean; there was no way any refugee boat would be drifting this way.
After reading that article, images of desperate, helpless faces of the boat people I had known – had been one of – played often in my mind. I remembered my own rescue and thanked God again for our angel, the Cap Anamur. I knew that those people had truly been willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for freedom and dignity.
Our ship was moved at a steady pace, and the flight operations got heavier in the Indian Ocean. My teammates and I were busy maintaining our airplanes. We sometimes cracked jokes and made fun of each other just to make our work more pleasurable.
One day, a teammate told me that he couldn’t wait for the Singapore port visit. I was stunned. I asked him to repeat himself. “Are you sure we are going to Singapore?”
He said yes, noting that he’d seen the new schedule. I immediately ran to the shop and asked my supervisor, just to confirm that it was true. It was true, indeed. Our ship was going to hit Singapore port in just a few more days. I was extremely happy and excited, not because I wanted to see Singapore but because I thought our ship might have the chance to rescue the Vietnamese boat people in the South China Sea in the Pacific Ocean—the waters near Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, and the Philippines.
I started counting the days until our ship would head to Singapore. I also wanted to know when our ship would be in the Pacific Ocean. By looking at the schedule, I figured that, in one more day, my ship would be out of the Indian Ocean and in the Pacific Ocean.
I continued to read a lot of news in the Navy magazines. I kept searching for news of any more boat people being rescued. Surprisingly, I read another good bit of news about the refugees. This news came from the Transitions Navy Magazine under Refugees Rescued at Sea. A frigate, the USS Kirk (FF-1087) had spotted a refugee boat with nine people on board in the South China Sea. The boat people were surprised when, from the Navy ship, someone spoke down to them in their native language. Wow! How could that be? They were astonished to learn that, on the frigate Kirk, there was a former Vietnamese refugee just turned US sailor several months earlier. Fireman Apprentice Long T. Huynh had escaped from Vietnam nine years earlier and, interestingly, had been rescued by the US Navy. After graduating from high school in San Diego, Long had joined US Navy and been stationed on the frigate Kirk. How cool was that!
I was very happy for those nine boat people. Their lives had been saved, and now they had their freedom in their hands. I was also very happy for Long who had had the opportunity to save his own people. I wanted to congratulate him. From my own aircraft carrier, I prayed that God would give me the same opportunity to save my own poor people.
My teammate and I went up to the flight deck to work on a minor problem on one of our Hornets. Walking on the flight deck during operations was extremely dangerous. I had to walk around the A-6s (attack jets) that already had their engines running. I passed in front of their intakes, and even though I wasn’t too close, I felt the power as the intakes sucked in air, pulled by the powerful force, I almost lost my balance. A shipmate who was nearby reached out his hand and pulled me back. He may have saved me from being swallowed into the intake of the A-6. If that had happened, my entire body would have become burger meat. I thanked him for watching out for his shipmate, and I promised him I would be extremely careful around the areas.
While we were fixing the minor problem on the Hornet, I watched the other Hornets being launched. There was nothing cooler than to see the catapult shooting the jet into the air.
One next day I arose very early the next morning. I didn’t know how far we were from Singapore, but I knew for sure that we were in the Pacific Ocean now. I put on my working uniform and walked toward my shop. First, I stood on a balcony and looked down to the water. I wondered if today would be the day I might see a refugee boat.
I couldn’t stand on the balcony for long. I needed to go to my shop before I was late for work. When I arrived at the shop, I started working just like any other normal working day. However, Every couple of hours, I took a break and went to the balcony to look down at the water below me and far beyond. I prayed to God - if any refugee boats were in the area, please let us rescue them before they die.
I then thought of my girlfriend. She had told me that she was going to escape, but I had never heard anything from her. Could today be the day I might see? Could hers be the boat we rescued? I shook my head. It was impossible.
Even so, I still wanted to see that dream to come true. Oh my God! How wonderful that would be. I still missed her. I still thought of our time together and I remembered every time we dated. The love I gave to her was natural, and my love for my first love came from deep within me. I opened my wallet and took out the little picture of her face that she gave to me at a time when we were deeply in love. I had it with me at all time lately. I asked myself whether there was any chance that my ship would rescue her boat on our way to Singapore. Once again, I shook my head and pushed all of those feelings away. I didn’t want to raise hope in myself and feel the disappointment and pain in my heart and soul if that didn’t happen. I needed to stop thinking and get back to my shop.
I looked down to the water several times throughout the day. I still saw nothing but dark blue ocean. I figured I was setting myself up for disappointment, but I didn’t give up yet. Our ship would still be in this part of the ocean for several days.
It was a long day at work, and my energy ran completely out. I was exhausted. I needed to hit my rack badly
After taking a shower, I crawled onto my bed and lay down with my comfortable pillow. My body and mind were out before I even realized it. But, somehow, I thought I saw a very bad storm with very dark clouds coming. The face of the ocean turned violent, and one big wave came after another. Through the frightening scene, I spotted a tiny refugee vessel crowded with children. Oh my God! I screamed out to the captain of our ship, begging him to rescue the people before the boat capsized.
Suddenly, among the refugees in the boat, I saw my girlfriend. She stood up, called my name, and extended her hand out, asking for my help.
“Please wait,” I called. “I’m coming to rescue you.”
Then from out of nowhere, a huge wave came and slammed over her boat, creating a terrifying noise.
I sat up quickly, hitting my head very hard against the rack above in the tight space. My shipmate explained that he’d knocked on my rack loudly to wake me up because he’d heard me mumbling so much in my sleep. He checked on me and wondered if I was okay.
My eyes now were opened, but I was breathing very heavily. After a few minutes, I felt okay. I told my shipmate I was all right; it was just a very bad dream. I thanked him for checking on me and wished him a good night of sleep.
Back at work the next day, the horrible dream remained with me vividly. I wanted to share my dream with my teammates, but on second thought, I didn’t. I was afraid they might make fun of me. I decided to keep it to myself. I tried to focus on my work normally. However, I continued to run back and forth to the balcony to look down at the water. The ship now was very close to Singapore. Tomorrow we were going to hit the port of this beautiful city; but my mind was not on the liberty call at this time.
We arrived in Singapore. I saw so many ships floating on this huge area of the blue water making a beautiful scene. Our ship was anchored in the middle of the water and we had to take a ferryboat to go to shore.
Singapore was a beautiful and interesting port, and my friends couldn’t stop talking about this port visit. They all were looking forward to have the best time in this sensational city.
Although my mind wasn’t ready for this liberty call, I got to see this Lion City. I had never been here before, but a lot of Vietnamese boat people had escaped to this country and stayed here for a while before settling in their third country. I wanted to go and see the Vietnamese refugee camp that I knew was somewhere in this country. I asked some of the local people, and no one knew where it was.
Singapore was a very clean and beautiful city. I went to a huge outdoor market. Everything looked similar to the market in Saigon. I bought a lot of tropical fruits because these fruits were the same fruits in Vietnam and I certainly missed eating them.. It was time for me to enjoy these fruits. I asked my friends to share with me and they also loved them.
Suddenly, our ship had an order to pull out early due to an emergency situation arising from the Desert Storm Operation of the Persian War. The captain had cancelled the remaining days of the liberty calls and ordered all hands back to their stations. I had intended to make a better effort and find the Vietnamese refugee center, but since we pulled out early, I had to miss my chance. It was okay; when I heard of the emergency situation, I thought of my ship, and my country came first. I was happy to return to my ship.
My ship started heading out of the Pacific Ocean. I still watched the water, searching and scouting for any refugees boats, but I saw nothing. It was time to move on, and I wanted to get my mind settled so I could focus on my important work in my shop. Our ship was rushing to the Persian Gulf areas for a great cause.
The flight operations were so heavy that we were working very long days and nights. We were in this area for a few weeks and working intensively.
During one lunch break, I was reading a Navy Times magazine. I saw more good news for the Vietnamese refugees. The USS Dubuque had just rescued thirty boat people on a very small watercraft. The ship’s captain had decided to launch the rescue because he realized that the refugees’ vessel was not seaworthy and overloaded with a lot of refugees on board. The tiny watercraft was spotted four hundred nautical miles from Singapore on August 13. Wow! My ship had been in the area about ten days ago. I told myself that I might have seen that refugee boat.
After several intense weeks of flight operations in the Persian Gulf, we headed back to the Gulf of Suez, transiting through the Suez Canal to the Mediterranean Sea. We would soon make another port visit, this one in Toulon, France. I was sure that everyone needed a break this time.
We arrived in Toulon during the second week of September. We would spend five days here for liberty calls. Toulon was another beautiful city, with gorgeous long beaches. I had a chance to catch a bus to another beautiful nearby city, Nice. What stunning views I found there; I had never seen the beach like this before. There was no sand, but the beach was covered with pretty stones or gravel. I was glad I had my camera with me.
The very nice break came to an end, and we got back to the waters and resumed our operations. Thus far, we had been deployed for about four months. The routines had become very familiar, but most of the sailors were missing their loved ones very much. One of my teammates told me that he couldn’t wait to return home to see his girlfriend. I told him that I very much understood his situation and asked him to just hang in there; we were coming to the last part of the cruise, and we would be home before we knew it.
He asked me if I had a girlfriend, and I told him that I didn’t but that I had been looking for one all over the Pacific Ocean when our ship had been approaching Singapore. He didn’t seem to understand, so I had to tell him a little more about what had happened to me and to my first love. I even told him that I still loved her and dreamed about her. I also told him about the nightmare I’d had. He was the one who had checked on me that night.
His eyes grew wide as I quickly summarized my love story. “Wow!” he replied. He told me he couldn’t believe how much I had gone through.
After the conversation, we understood each other a little more. We shook hands, and I thanked him for listening. Then we got back to work.
I kept collecting and reading news from the Navy magazines. In The Airwinger Navy News, I read about a guided missile cruiser, the USS Vincennes, which had just rescued twenty-six boat people in the South China Sea last week. I couldn’t believe that this tiny vessel had been floating in the high seas for fifteen days with barely any food or water during the last days of drifting and nobody had died. This was unbelievable news for the Vietnamese refugee community.
After many long years since the Fall of Saigon, the people of South Vietnam were still fleeing from the Communist regime in search of freedom and democracy. These stories were proof that the dictatorship and brutality were far beyond what the innocent people of Vietnam should or would endure. So many people were willing to die if they could not live free. These boat people knew their simple watercrafts were not seaworthy, but they took the huge risk. Tragically, only a fraction of these people made it to freedom.
October was here, and the end of our six-month cruise was nearing. But we continued to work tirelessly. My favorite thing to do on the aircraft carrier whenever I had a break was to enjoy the excitement of the launchings and landings of the fighter jets. I hoped that, some day, I would be the one sitting in the cockpit and flying one of these powerful jets. That was still my dream, and even though I knew making it come true would be a very long road, I hoped I could continue to keep my dream alive.
We would be hitting another French port, Monaco, in a few days. We arrived at the port on a beautiful, sunny morning. This famous French city had one of the most attractive coastlines, along with imperial architecture—magnificent buildings, museums, and hotels. Things were very pricey here, so every sailor’s wallet would be empty by the time we left, especially we were going to stay here for several days.
After having plenty of fun and rest for several days in Monaco, we would pull out to sea again. Surprisingly, we would be revisiting Palma, Spain, the very next day. In my understanding, this second stop was, in part, to replenish the ship’s supplies. After relaxing for a few more days, we pulled out to sea and headed westward.
We were soon moving back to sea, and I believed we had done all the port visits for the deployment. November was just around the corner, and the day to go home was near. We didn’t have a lot of flight operations anymore, but every now and then, I saw a few. We took it easy, biding our time until we came back home. Many of the sailors couldn’t wait to see their families and friends. I knew they were counting down the days. I could see so much happiness coming to all of the sailors and their families at the end of the cruise. I was very happy for them; their families and loved ones would be together again, and I wished that they would all enjoy every single moment of the homecoming and the reunions with their families.
When we were almost home - only half a day away from Norfolk homeport. All of our airplanes had flown off the ship and the atmosphere was totally different now. Everyone was anxiously waiting to come home. Music played over the loudspeakers. One of the songs I liked most was “Coming to America” by Neil Diamond. That’s right. It’s time to come to America, the country I loved and adored.
I could see the city of Norfolk on the horizon. It was the second week of November. The sailors who were stationed on the ship were standing all around the flight deck in formal blue uniforms. They looked awesome. I wished I could stand there with them and look down at the spectators at the port- showing a great feeling of pride for a job well done. The ship was very close to the port now, and it was moving very slowly. I could see the huge crowd. I even saw a huge welcome home sign from a distance. I couldn’t imagine how much love and support the sailors had from their families and friends. It would be so wonderful to see loved ones waiting on the port when the ship returned after such a long deployment.
As we walked off the ship, the crowd grew even larger. All the people surrounding me were kissing, hugging, laughing, crying, talking, smiling, and yelling. In this crowd, I could see the greatest happiness that I had ever seen in my life. I was truly happy for my shipmates. By not expecting anyone, I carried my heavy sea-bag and walked myself to the bus.
I got onto the bus along with a few of my teammates. The bus would be here for a while before taking off to the airport. As I sat on the bus and watched the crowd, I wished my family, especially my parents, were here. Anytime there was an event like this, I missed my parents deeply in my heart and soul. I hadn’t heard anything from them lately. I wondered how they were doing. They were getting older every day, and my soul cried when I thought about not having seen them for so many years.
